I am one with nature. Divine radiance permeates my soul and illuminates my being.
The dark clouds disappear, and I sparkle like an emerald.
Emerald
Month: September 2022
Tribe
There will always be missteps in life and non-stop challenges,
Wake up every morning with a gentle reminder that you are not alone.
There is always a tribe you belong to, unique peeps & folks, who
will hold your hand, give you big hugs and rescue you from the darkest valleys of your mind.
These are the men & women who have suffered in the fires of misery like you and conjured enough courage to assist you in the positive transformation process.
You must not isolate yourself, and neither should you stop believing,
Loneliness is a curse we bestow on ourselves because we treasure self-pity.
Your experiences are not unique, just dressed in different wrapping sheets,
We all have our inner demons to battle & unspoken sacrifices to complete.
The burden we assume feels more lightweight when we connect with our tribe,
Love & gratitude exists in abundance in your circle, so go ahead and cleanse your soul and elevate your vibe.
Fear
I fear heartbreak,
I get scared of big dreams.
I shiver at the thought of a romance,
I don’t have the strength to permit myself a second chance.
I struggle to dissolve old pains,
My astray emotions make me go insane.
There is so much baggage that I must carry,
my breath feels shallow & weary.
I am miserable at letting go, yet everything keeps slipping through my fingers.
My palms can’t even grasp a hand,
I keep sliding into self-created chasms of confusion and mental scams.
Imprint
All the people we meet and connect with love leave their imprints on us.
They add a dash of richness, design & beauty to our personality.
Neglecting these relationships fades away our colors too.
Imperfect they might be, but, with wise intentions,
Transforming into more reasonable beings is a way to our salvation.
Gratitude and love are the keys to a wholesome attitude.
Always showing up for others is being compassionate too.
It’s futile to undervalue the power of relations, be it friendship, passion, or family bonds.
All of us are atoms in the framework of social evolution.
Iceberg
A wise woman once told me” What you see in a relationship, is like the tip of the iceberg.”
I guess the negativity, hurt, and baggage must be pushed to the bottom to keep a marriage afloat.
No marriage is good or perfect; the difference lies in the intention of trying and the willingness to keep the door open for love & pain to visit as guests.
None of them stays forever…
Conjured stories
It’s unbelievable the stories that conjure in my head,
It’s beyond comprehension how I escape my present tense.
Run away to an imaginary space where everything is perfect and grand.
Abuse doesn’t exist; trauma disappears.
All that is left is fairy dust sparkling everywhere; everything feels safe.
The graveyard of memories scattered with giggle & despair tugs at my heartstrings,
I screamed in my dream, ‘Don’t be a victim and stare at the horizon intently; you persevered through the hardships of the past & prevailing now; the future will unfold beautifully.
Your dreams might not be perfect, but they will resound in your soul.
Do not get addicted to failure because the landscape is always blurred.’
Unresolved Sentiments
Some mornings, even when the sun is the brightest, it’s hard to wake up from the dark.
The ache of loneliness & empty breaths creeps into every nook and cranny of my fragile body.
The undissolved emotions stalk me like an untamed wild beast, spreading fear in every inch of me.
The heat of the palpitating heart simmers me layer by layer till the steam condenses into my tears.
I scream to let the overwhelming feelings out of my system before they diffuse every flicker of hope.
As self-love depletes and my rational mind takes a break, I drown in my vile emotions, gasping for air, the foggy head and fearful mind propel me into the deep, dark abyss.
Parenting
We often feel like C-grade parents when we resort to yelling at our tiny humans, the regret is taxing to the senses & conscious.
We dive into the sea of guilt so deep within and convince ourselves to be imperfect & hopeless, we dare not anticipate good grades in the eyes of our precious kids.
But, somewhere hidden deep beneath the layers of our minds, is a little child who still seeks validation, who is nervous and apprehensive, yet puts one foot in front of the other.
Can we allow ourselves as adults to accept that sometimes it is ok to flunk the exam of parenthood?
Can we accept our highs & lows, resilience & shortcomings, tolerance & impatience?
Perhaps the answer lies in just going with the flow.
Finding timeless wisdom in Khalil Gibran’s writing on children,
“You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their soul’s dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you.”
Lifelines
When Lifelines meet, you connect to coexist without prejudice & judgment on each other’s existence.
Each entity is unique, a product of its virtues & vices.
The worst feeling in the world; you stretch out your hand & it stays empty.
It brings out a barrage of emotions of abandonment & heartache, flooding the mind with endless self-deprecating stories veiling the truth.
Be grateful for the connections & all the love in your life, even if it is too little.
The Twinkling Lights
When I am gone… remember me as the quirky-minded person who found joy in simple things of life. Every morning I stretched my arms to hug the people I loved, and the day ended with a grateful vibe.
Don’t forget my love for the twinkling lights & the glassy road after a downpour.
Remember to sing from the heart and watch the world go by with a profound sense of fascination and understanding that it’s all a dream.
We are born to play a minuscule role in the grand scheme of things. My last wish…a cat yawning on the bench and feeling warm in my invisible arms.
Paper Heart
I felt miserable and empty as I walked into the park.
Homesick and missing the known faces & warm hugs.
The universe felt my pain & a gift appeared on the sidewalk.
I stood there for a few minutes staring at the disproportionate paper heart.
I laughed at the timing and found my heartache less and loneliness comforting.
The universe magically places love signs everywhere, we need to keep our eyes open for the messages.
Randomly Overwhelmed
Everything seems to boil over from the boundaries of my mind, it’s like a flame torching me from inside.
Dissatisfaction, guilt, frustrations, expired dreams, self-created burden crushing me from within.
The gap between expectations and reality is certainly daunting, worse when you have mouths to feed & people to please.
The dam of anxieties & insecurities burst into an uncontrolled flow of tears, narrating every heart-aching story.
The fear of abandonment & loneliness can be profound, it makes you wonder if accepting & standing up for yourself is fundamentally wrong.