Moms are those super-strength entities that are always stupendously overlooked.

Mom, Amma, Mummy, Ma, Madre, Ayi, and the list goes on in fifty languages, yet the spirit remains the same.

Some lucky children still have her in their lives & for others, she resides in heaven, the angels singing the praises as they remember her screams at childbirth, loss, and selflessness for others.

The world is a pitiful place where the role of moms & dads bifurcates deeply, I wonder how a man would feel if he wore her shoes for just one day.

Will he realize that her emotional, mental & physical health is quintessential?

Will he realize that asking her to move on, denying her love & admiration, and sabotaging her dreams is a shame, a sin in itself?

Will the world identify that a mother emotionally shakes like a leaf when she holds her baby?

Isn’t the acceptance of her partner’s personality a sincere act of courage?

If a son is pride, then the daughter is her best friend, a mini version she vows to nurture & shield.

Her unwavering spirit to forgive and forget; forges the family bonds together.

My soul reiterates that even the almighty in heaven

Today, I looked at my picture with interest and wondered why my smile didn’t reach my eyes.

My struggle to smile was so observable, and my faith in belonging in that space & folks was so unsure.

The people around me were appreciative & full of glee,

but I had a gaze of perpetual defeat.

My heart was exploding in my tightening chest

as my breath reminded me to hold onto something.

The only awareness was a powerful thought ‘where do I fit in?’

Like waves crashing on a rock, my mind bears a bend with the pressure of finding a path.

The fate of my joyous existence hangs in the balance as I ponder deeply on my mental tranquility.

I have imagined myself in rustic & beautiful places, with gorgeous beaches, towering mountains, and clouds at my feet,

Although I have been scared to step close to another being, my shaky confidence in my existence & fixed conceptions dive deep.

There have been times when I have crumbled on seeing a stranger’s genuine happiness,

I desired to knock on their doors and steal some in a rusted coffee can.

I strive to be an adequate worthy human being, with my heart surrounded by a vault of hope and new beginnings.

There is no clear path I see, just a will to make things respectable and say cheers to my self-esteem.

As I meditated, the loving and kind words of the family filled my heart with joy; I prayed to God for their eternal peace. 

I reiterated this phase of confusion must pass as I prayed to the flickering lamp in the temple as the chants began.

If you realize you are drifting away every minute to an invented happy place far away from reality, in search of an anchor,
When you feel damaged everywhere because you are exhausted from not fully accepting the harsh truths,
Please understand that you hit rock bottom when you desire every illusion to come true.

It’s not the circumstances that alter the mood but the thoughts around it.
The undisciplined beliefs and stories that have interwoven so complicatedly.

What’s not written in the stars will never appear, what’s yours will never abandon your life,
Life is a stubborn struggle to stay in the present moment, no matter how deep it cuts.

The battle between the logical and emotional mind often brings us to our knees,
Tears pouring, heartbreaking and unfulfilled screams.
But
You have no choice but to crawl forward, cursing and praying.

Not everyone has the privilege of holding another stretched-out hand, so digging your nails into the ground is your only chance.