As I paced the floors, calming my anxious mind, a piercing thought blazed in my mind.
‘An essential imperfect gift.’
The heart bled and whispered, ‘wedlock.’
The logical mind uttered, ‘education.’
The cynical mind sarcastically commented, ‘attachment.’
The rebellion side shouted, ‘liberation.’
The passionate woman hiding under the veils expressed, ‘intimacy.’
The perpetually guilty, conscious, and exhausted mother implored, ‘parenting.’
As I pondered on the multiple roles that I play, a thick fog filled my brain,
echoing, “there will never be a time or relationship which will not bring its pain & gain.”
Another question jolted the mind, “what is an absolute non-essential, imperfect gift?”
The negative and self-breaking doubts that hold us back,
the fear of hope for a joyful future,
and the permission to face fears.
The physical inadequacy, along with the graying hair,
understanding second chances are rare.
A career on hold or adhering to mediocrity,
The solitude of torn emotional bonding brings no clarity.
Finally, when I could bear no more, I extended my arms to hold onto God.
I broke down and begged that I may give up all,
there is no sense of control over the events of life.
I trust thee to usher me because you are the essential perfect gift in this life.
