Dear Dad,

I felt numb the whole day; you left us on this day. Not a day goes by without remembering you. I have lost the warmth in my bones from missing you. My arms ache for your hugs and the safety they brought; I have been a lost girl because we can’t talk.

Insecurities have troubled my sleep, and I miss the blanket that shielded me. The world has lost its meaning because I seek your shadow beside me. Yet, you have been kind, often visiting me in my dreams. Even when the world makes me shed tears, I know that in your heart, I will always find shade & peace.

Please wait for me in heaven until I finish my role on this plane, and then we can play carrom or listen to music again.

We all miss you.

Please say hi to Grandpa.

I RELEASE all the negativity, resentment & hatred for all the people who have hurt, abused & broken me. I hope that you all find your highest good. There are no more burdens of your presence in my heart…

A nostalgic wind blew fiercely; the healing mind faded away.
A sense of guilt and gloom permeated the air as I transformed into my old self.
The past and the future collided on the battlefield of thoughts; the present stayed muted.

My self-talk obliterated me countless times.
Now, I focus on building a positive frame of mind.

Negativity seeps out from the unplugged wound & recovery is sluggish,
Heaven knows there is too much baggage to let go!

An intention of optimism and direction is all I seek, even though there is a constant battle inside between the demons & the warrior.

The healing process is exhausting and unfair, and there is so much loneliness to bear.
One step at a time…..woman, just one more step.

The fanciful and lofty idea of love engrossed me to the point where I ignored the pebbled path.

Holding my head high and believing in the integrity of a sacred union, I disregarded the fallacies.

Rose-tinted glasses only perceived unaccounted happiness and companionship of partners, overlooking the gray skies of relationships.

Trying to be the good girl, overwhelmed by every man’s attention, and always seeking confirmation from the family, I subdued my will.

In a never-ending struggle to be the preferred one and stay protected, I ripped the fabric of self-love.

An innate desire for a whole family inspired maternal love and acceptance of the pains & suffering of childbirth.

I blindly trusted my story & then came the intermission!

The tinted glasses lay broken; the genuine shades of life engulfed my being.

The pebbled grazed feet bled, an expressionless mind gazed, my shredded self-respect scattered, and a tornado of fear agitated the heart.

The trauma smashed like waves; the feet struggled with my weight.

Hearing cries, I shivered, understood it was me as my light traveled back to the universe.

The gifts of silence, calm, truce, wisdom, bravery, a wounded heart, and a stubborn gaze arrived from heaven.

Inner child, what is wrong with you? My mind wandered.
“I shall not be able to touch the sky,” she softly muttered.
Though I have dreamed a thousand times of flight, my clipped wings have not found the strength to glide.
I have lost my credibility and the few people who loved me.
Too many have understood my vision as folly.

The more I attempted to gain height alone, the more bruises I suffered,
I sought out strangers whose warmth brought comfort to my cold bones.

That night when I went down to rest, the angel interlocked our hands and whispered,” woman, breathe! You consistently have multiple struggles to beat. To err is human, the scars your achievements. Connect your life dots and admire the paths you traversed.”

There are days when I drift away to a faraway land,
Scared and lonely, I pray that someone comprehends.

I search for my anchor but see the rope gliding loose,
In desperation, I bury a part of myself in the sand and change my tune.

There are times of terror and nervousness when I glance at other dwellers,
They are connected securely and seamlessly to their anchors and grace the ebbs of the tide.

My alter ego won’t stop commenting as my vision blurs with tears,
There is so much speechlessness in me; the roaring lioness twists & turns.

I am always grateful for the lighthouses in my life, pointing out the terrain and sympathizing with my plight.

It’s just tough to be a warrior all the time.
A hero of her own story requires a shoulder to lean on sometimes.

Soaking a shirt with tears or brimming with sunshine,
My adventurous eyes forever stare at the shoreline.

We are unprepared for life, always.
The reality is there is no design to it.

Its undulating ways keep us on our toes, always.
We never get an opportunity to breathe a sigh of ease.

The harshest truth is the absence of acceptance always.
A perpetual question: How can it happen to me?”

We, the social creature, intend to seek another companion, always.
Being dumped and having heartbreaks are the collateral damages that exist.

The oscillating pendulum of self-confidence moves in opposite directions, always.
We all seek to reach equilibrium, a moment of our sanity.

So, life’s confusions and delusions are a constant amusement, always.
Adjustments & sacrifices are the names of the game.

I am born to retain the storms.
I do not tread predictable paths.
I am unconventional and defiant.

I may have an objective but no concept
yet, I can crawl to make the path.
My body struggles with anxiety and fear,
My mind crumbles with distress.

I implore my creator to push through all the despair.

I am dark, yet the moon shines on me, relentlessly.
I am a star with the potential to carry another one inside me.

I am not bright as the sun, but I am still Venus,
I do not blaze, but I flow at my will like a burning magma.
I am gentle as a calm stream but contain the strength to become rapids and create crevices endlessly.

I am all virtues and vices fused.
God’s favorite, you are allowed to feel jealous too.

I am every struggling or serene woman,
an angel with a trace of the demon.
Crush me, burn me, assault me, neglect me, or torture me,
just reflect that in every mythology, everyone has reverenced me.

Learn the lesson to appreciate me, for I will brighten your world like a deity and walk with you till eternity.

My teacher taught me that we are a part of the divine. He said you aren’t a sinner in the eyes of God. You are not baggage, a limitation, a hurdle, a disappointment, or a ‘lost cause.’

We belong to him just the way he is ours till eternity. As the night descends, I pray that my belief stays unshakeable, and self-love becomes my religion. Let any arms that wrap me bring the essence of divine truth and acceptance in them.

I hope to encounter those who will move me forward in this life with grace, dignity & character, love, and genuine companionship. I send this prayer your way too.
God Bless!

What is this chilly winter evening whispering to me?
It’s a cold hush numbing my ears.
Its message– pay no attention to judgments and muffle the sounds of the uncertain world.

Why are my frozen hands rattling?
If you don’t accomplish your goals, your resolve will diminish in your lifetime.

Why are my aching feet groaning?
Advance towards a fortunate tomorrow, not only for yourself but for your future generations.

Why have I lost my voice in this frostiness?
To articulate at a suitable time, proper location, and to the fitting people.

There was once a silly nut who was witty and loved the sunshine.
The birds infused their melodies in the dewy mornings as she nestled cozily among the daisies.

Then life happened, a storm shredded her home, and she rolled aimlessly on the ground, bruised, and stunned.
To endure, she hid in the underground.

The darkness scared her as she panicked and begged for light.

She was hurting all over and took refuge in the shadow of the mother divine.

She craved to hear the birds sing and sought warmth,
but she persisted in her fight.

The wheel of time moved; she woke up from her rest, all covered in light and the scent of transformation.
When she glanced in the mirror, she couldn’t recognize herself.
The simple nut transitioned into a deeply rooted, gorgeous, astral-colored tree that sheltered the abundant new life.

You are a nut!!